People, heed my warning                                            
there’s a storm brewin’ in the sea 
a natural disaster 
for the mouth of the Mississippi
certain doom is looming
the wind and water screams
we all knew those levees’d break
cry the ghosts of New Orleans	

         It was in the cards
         written in the cards
         It was in the cards
         written in the cards
               
Someone find the authorities 
the neighbor’s home’s in a raging fire
a simple man with nothing left
but his hopelessness for hire
‘cause in a month or so, they say,
he might be welcomed back
“Sometimes,  just to keep your head,” he said
“it’s useless lookin’ back.”

          It was in the cards
          written in the cards	
          It was in the cards
          written in the cards
          It was in the...

               early mornin’
               came a heart-attack from the sea
               traffic stalled, destiny called
               like a clogged artery

            It was in the cards
            written in the cards	
            It was in the cards
            written in the cards

He puts on cologne from Rolling Stone
from a fold in the magazine
he takes care of his hair just like a
well-oiled machine
he takes off, puts on a face
heads off to the masquerade
the peacock fans his feathers for the
friday night parade

     It's a plastic world
     we're livin' in a plastic world
     where little boys grow up to pick up
     little plastic girls

There's a girl who sits and sips
her drinks and drinks for free
she's the heir to a millionaire
in the life of luxury
she spends her life in the Hollywood Hills
but she lives in misery
she pays for pleasure on plastic
for drastic, plastic surgery

     - chorus

     It's a plastic world
     It's a plastic world
     where talk is cheap and the thinkin's slow
     like a pop song on the radio
     I don't care about any of that anyhow
     there's one more path where I won't go
     down the dumbing down scenario
     you're only as strong as your will, will allow
     I gotta ask you how
     we can get out now

The little boy met the little girl
sitting perched, belly up to the bar
he proceded to produce a flame
she blew the drag and inquired of his car
shot down, bummed out, he grabbed his cell
called a cab to bring him on home
tomorrow night he'll do it all again
for a Barbie Doll to call his own
 
     - chorus

So he put on cologne from Rolling Stone
from a fold in the magazine

The summer nights are endless
but the days go by so fast
campfire sounds like a record player
skipping on the last
we’re all drunk and fuzzy 
and my face is turning pink, damn,
should’ve brought the aloe
underneath the washroom sink
I’m happy and I ain’t got a dime
it’s summertime

Everybody’s laughin’
gigglin’ up a storm
people throwin’ Frisbee
with perfect graceful form
we’re going skinny-dipping out on hidden beach
where the Eau Claire River flows
the moon seems so much brighter
when you’ve taken off your clothes
but no worries, everybody’s feelin’ fine
it’s summertime

	bronze tones, waffles cones
	charcoal smoky air
	stealin’ kisses on ferris wheels
	at small town county fairs

The air is warm and sticky
I’m scopin’ out a shady spot
tip-toein’ cross the blacktop 
‘cause the blacktop’s boiling hot
the cooler’s filled with lagers
pale ales and stouts
a festival of friends
is what the summer’s all about
top it all off with a little slice of lime 
it’s summertime

Roast beef, chicken-corn chowder
if I could I'd sing it louder
mashed-potatoes with gravy and butter
just the thought of it makes me shutter
country cookin', I can remember
acorn squash, it's ripe in September
black-eyed peas I really didn't need
pumpkin pie and the roasted seeds
     
     -chorus
     Good food
     REAL good food
     country home cookin' is so good lookin'
     mmmm, mmmmm, good food
     country home cookin' is so good lookin'

Fettucini, cheesy lasagna
baby-back ribs, you spilled some on ya
buttermilk buscuits with honey and jelly
food so wonderful to fill your belly
avocado & tomato sandwich
a home-made bbq is better than Manwich
chocolate-chip cookie, oatmeal-raisin
Grandma's got the griddle on
toast, eggs and bacon, mmm, mmmmm

     -chorus

Puffed-wheat, cinnamon rolls
and when you eat puffed-wheat
you gotta eat 3 bowls
black coffee to wash it down
no, I don't take catsup on my hashbrowns
apple butter, blackberry jam
a butterball turkey and a honey ham
little pickles in a little bowl
and a nice warm string bean casserole

     -chorus

There’s 4 big profits under the American sun,
tobacco, oil, drugs & guns
smokin’s cool, kid, it ain’t no sin
we’ll hook you in the mouth and we’ll reel you in
thanks for investing in our fine cash-crop
we’ll keep making it,  so you won’t want to stop
We all gotta make money and lots of it sure is fun
Tobacco, Oil, Drugs & Guns

We summon black gold from the depths of hell
we pull our greed from a 5 mile well
no one can resist the golden goose
dinosaur bones in a government noose
devil on your left, angel on your right
but votes and money are tuckin’ you in at night
just a few more pawns to go over there and “Get ‘er done”
Tobacco, Oil, Drugs & Guns

The richest of  the rich are thieving the poor
can’t afford the gas for the grocery store
pick your poison, lady, food or pills
you’ll need a bowl full of drugs to cure your ills
where’s our money, man, you’re always late
I could give a shit about your desperate state
and you better not think about going on a Canadian run
Tobacco, Oil, Drugs & Guns

We’ll come to your door with open arms
money is money, we don’t care who you are
you know, they say, everybody has their price
and with all that cash, they won’t think twice
‘cause what tops all profits is weapons at #1
Tobacco, Oil, Drugs & Guns

I can’t complain, I chose this life. 
Smoky bars, playing show after show
I’m not lookin’ to be any superstar, I’m just lookin’ 
   to put on a little show
Ring ring from this big ‘ol city
I can see you are getting a little giddy
When I hear your voice smiling through the phone
You keep tellin’ me to go and have some fun and
Soak up that Florida sun and
I keep repeating, “Remember, when in Rome…..”
It’s always good to get away sometimes
and sometimes,
It’s good to be back home

Watchin’ the seagulls circle the ruins of a castle 
     on the North Sea
Flying high above the cotton balls never knowin’ 
     where life is takin’ me
Right now, baby, it’d be so cool
You and me, here, in Liverpool
It’s just not the same when you’re all alone
Walkin’ along the fishin’ docks
Keepin’ an eye out for heart-shaped rocks
I’m always thinkin’ of you wherever I roam
It’s always good to get away sometimes
and sometimes,
It’s good to be back…

     Home is really just a state of mind
     where you take comfort and your thoughts unwind
     while wearing nothing, if you’re so inclined
     to do whatever you’d like to do
     where you and your lover lay down head to head
     make pleasant dreams in a cozy bed    
     when you’re content, no words need to be said
     that’s why I dream of you

Breakfast in London, supper in Chicago, pushin’ 5 
     hours home to the north
I can’t wait to fall asleep in my pillow but my mind’s 
     pacin’ all back and forth
As soon as I stop this movin’ around
I’ll be sprawled out and sleeping sound
‘til around about 5 in the afternoon
But when I start thinkin’ about where I’ve been
Cabin fever strikes me hard again
And I begin to feel restless all throughout my bones
It’s always good to get away sometimes
but sometimes
It’s good to be back home
Yea, sometimes, It’s good to be back
home

Like a pink flamingo on a dairy farm
I really don’t belong here
Like a ribbon on my rottweiler 
Or a skeeter on the head of my beer
I know it all sounds asinine 
But this town, they say, I should’ve steered clear
It doesn’t matter just where I go
My troubles never disappear

Like a misty light 100 in John Wayne’s mouth
I really don’t belong here
Like shootin’ B*B’s at a grizzly bear 
Or buttin’ heads with a 12 point deer
If you don’t understand what’s comin’ out of my mouth, baby,
Maybe I should make it clear
Like a moped cruisin’ through the streets of Sturgis
I really don’t belong here

Like a $2 hoar teaching Sunday school 
I really don’t belong here
Like puttin’ ketchup on a porterhouse 
Should I holler or can you hear
Like wearin’ nothin’ but your boots at The White House
And you’re swingin’ from the chandelier
Like a pink flamingo on a dairy farm
I really don’t belong here

Like a pink flamingo on a dairy farm
I really don’t belong here

Let’s start from the beginning
it was the best time we ever knew
the summer nights under the willow tree
and just lying there close to you
and those lazy Sundays laughing 
at the animals in the zoo
it was such a long time, we’re those days even real
and whatever’s going on between us
is getting thicker as time goes by
I should’ve paid more attention to you 
but my head was too far up in the sky
and eventually we wound up quiet
we never even said, “Goodbye.”
please don’t call, I need some time to heal

     -Chorus
      ‘til I met you I was foolish
      I guess things are still the same
      I know you deserve much more than this 
      but there’s really no one to blame
      I threw your heart back in a cast
      you threw mine back to me
      for the good times, babe, will you remember me
      ‘cause I’d like to leave with makeshift memories

Back then I always needed some room just a little space
I know you were mistreated
I should’ve known by the tear on your face
and I’m sorry that you felt cheated 
when you should’ve been embraced
I told myself I’d make the change, I swore
and for all the years I’ve known you
time flew by so fast
I held on to the hope that I could
make this love story last
but the future I cannot picture
and there is no changing the past
so, so long, I’ll remember you forever more

- Chorus

Baby, no, I don’t wanna go
on a night out on the town
It’s just that I could love you more 
when there’s no one else around
I’ve got a list of things that I’m gonna do to you
All you gotta do is close your eyes
‘cause I’m gonna take away all your blues

Feels like it’s burnin’ up in here
Ahhh, baby, it’s hot as hell
Just got rid of a $2 bill 
I dropped it in a wishin’ well
But I ain’t gonna tell you my wish baby
Otherwise it won’t come true
But maybe I can show you tonight
When I take away all your blues

     c’mon, get rid of your reservations
     and come on home with me
     pick up on my insinuations 
     and follow my lead       
     it’s not just a mere infatuation
     I’m in love, baby, can’t you see

Baby, no, I don’t wanna go
on a night out on the town
it’s just that I could love you more 
when there’s no one else around
I’ve got a list of things that I’m gonna do to you
all you gotta do is close your eyes
‘cause I’m gonna take away all your blues

Ridin' in the backseat
my face is catchin' the wind
the back of my legs are stuck
to the leather seat again
I wish I knew where I was goin'
it doesn't matter anyhow
we're gonna wind up in some parking lot somewhere
'til we see him come back out
it seemed like forevor
such a long time ago
when we used to fight over who gets control
of the radio

Everybody down to the basement
I heard my father shout
and there's a sound a freight train roarin' and crashin'
and it started when the power went out
there's a funnel cloud touched down
the neighbors called to say
the windows are breakin', everything's so loud
but Ma says it'll be o.k.
tryin' to find a station
to track the tornado
huddled under a table, all tuned in
to the radio

Now that I'm older
than my parents used to be
I don't take life for granted
and I look at it all differently
what's comin' up on the horizon
neither you or I can tell
maybe all we can do is live our life
and wish each other well
let us always remember
the days of long ago
when we used to go out and find ourselves
listening
to the radio

I just woke up, the sun is warm
my mid-winter blues are gone
I got my left elbow hangin' out the side of the car
whistlin' a happy song
girls walkin' by, skirts so high
blowin' all up in the air
I was so embarrased, my face turned red
when she caught me with a big-'ol.....stare

     I fell in love today
     so many times, I couldn't say
     I almost crashed my Ford pick up truck
     into a Cheverolet
     when I was cruisin' down college way
     on a pretty day in May
     yea, I fell in love
     so many times today

It was one of those days
when you're all smiles
and you're grinnin' from ear to ear
somethin' catches your eye on the side of the road
so you drop 'er down to 2nd gear
my, oh my, this wandering eye
it's getting a little hard....... to steer
now I understand the meaning of life
Hallelujah! Spring is here!

     yea...-chorus

I was broke down on the interstate
in my old rickety van
an officer pulled up and said,
"You better move it if you can."
So I called the towing agency
to haul my pile of rust
a tow-truck man took out his chain
I said, "Take it if you must.
But, me, I'm going back to town
so I can tie one on."
I put out my thumb so I could bum
a ride back before dawn

An omish man was kind enough
to let me hitch a ride
he even let me drive his steed
well, atleast he tried
His daughter thought she'd have a laugh
and tickle me on the knee
I dropped the reigns, the horse took off
and the buggy hit a tree
by this time I thought I'd best be
headin' back to town
when I saw his forearm shakin'
my luck turned upside down

An hour later and a nice
concussion to my crown
I didn't expect an ambulance
to haul my ass to town
I woke up seeing double
with 2 IV's in my wrist
a couple of cans of o.j.
and 2 local specialists
who told me that I couldn't leave
not until daylight
so I guess I won't be shootin' pool
or drinkin' much tonight

The nurses charm was surely nothin'
to write home about
her facial hair was just enough
to make you want to shout
She turned around, locked the door
and kissed me on the lips
she undid all the buttons
from her blouse down to her hips
I grabbed my boots, left my coat
ran outside for air
I hopped the bus with just enough
to cover the fare

all due to my being broke down on the interstate
in my old rickety van

Deidra, I'm so alone
it's cold and I'm aching to the bone
it's midnight and I've been counting sheep
but your honey lips are keeping me from sleep
I've looked inside the great rainbow
the gorgeous aura and its glow
I've seen the light and felt the heat
but none as bright or quite as sweet

     Deidra, dear, I can see
     you're as lonesome as me
     I have come to believe
     Deidra, dear, it's you I need

Deidra, I can't recall
another girl as beautiful at all
your pale skin is soft as November snow
why you're all alone, I'll never know
she has the curves of a country road
and when you observe her, take it slow
and when she talks, it make me weak
and all is still when beauty speaks

     -chorus-

I was half in the bag and she was lit
our heads all in a fog
she sat me down and said, "Now, this is it
or you'll be sicker than a dog."
We danced around in circles
in the moonlight, late at night
the strength of her lips felt so right
she said, "Ask me and I might."

I woke up in the summer sun
and she was standing there
wearing only my Stetson hat
and cotton underwear
we ran down to the river
where the weekend waters run
we drank a little beer and we had a lot of fun
and a little one on one

Her hair was long, curly and brown
her eyes were just the same
all my troubles got up and got out of town
whenever she called out my name
she grabbed me by the shoulders
and flung me to the floor
just when I thought she was through, she wanted more
so she went and locked the door

Jerry was a hardcore surfer
yea, he did it for fun
but his skin was so pale
'cause, man, he didn't get any sun
He never left his board
he was on it all throughout the day
but there was nothin' you could tell him
absolutely nothin' that you could say

     but, "Get away! Get away!
     Get away from your computer today!"

Well, we tried to get him off it
and he said that he'd get off in a while
"Give me some time," he said.
"I'm looking for the perfect wave.......file."
"Shower! Take a shower, man! 
You're stinkin' from here to Japan."
Then another wave hit me
so I opened the door and Iran

     -chorus-

     His memory can't handle anymore downloads
     his eyes are bulging out, I think they're gonna explode
     his blood don't circulate because he sits on his ass
     his hard drive's over-working
     and any minute it is going to crashhhhhhhhh

So don't ever get addicted to
surfin' around in the house
or your old best friend will think
your new best friend is a mouse
you'll end up disconnected
let me tell ya, man, that's a bad sign
so get out of the house, feel the sun
and quit being online

     -chorus-